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Parents and Their Kids

share information with every normal parents or pre-parents, helping each other!


In the interim, a lot of parents that use the pacifier have noted that by having several pacifiers placed about the child’s crib and assisting the child in locating one if they stir in the middle of the night will enable the child to return to their sleep state without the need of the parent to help them.  As a precautionary note, purchase those pacifiers that are one solid piece and cannot be dismantled and do not ever secure it to the crib at all.  It is hoped that over a course of time your child will gradually stop using the pacifier but if this does not seem apparent, you may have to make the attempt to wean your child by other means.


As tempting as it is to give your fussing child his/her pacifier or to nurse the child back into a sleep state, it should not be done as it will lead to a situation of co-dependency and actually hinder your child from getting back to sleep on his/her own.

As unfortunate as it is, you will have to make your child’s association with sleep patterns somewhat more complex for a period lasting between a week or in the long term, a month. It is hoped that in the end you will be able to cause your child to rely less and less on both the pacifier or the breast as a part of the sleep conditioning process.  In simpler terms, get set to cause a slight disruption in some of your nights for the next period of time in an effort to create some long term alterations that are not only worth your while, but equally important as well.


In this method, each time that your child wakes up and starts fussing, by all means use the pacifier or even the bottle to settle the child down.  The difference is though, that as opposed to simply returning to bed again and leaving the rest until morning, let the child fall asleep with the devices, waiting patiently until the sucking motion develops a slower pace. Then, very gently, remove the pacifier or the bottle from his/her mouth. This does not always prove successful.

When you notice that your child is beginning to stir and pine for his/her pacifier or the breast, put your finger under the child’s chin and gently push upward, closing the mouth as you rock the child in your arms to and fro.  Do not forget to use those key phrases or words that you created as you perform this routine.  It takes some time to establish this process, so do not believe that it is going to happen soon. You may have to repeat this process a number of times before you find any success but you must maintain consistency and persevere.  Eventually though, you can be guaranteed to find success in your efforts.

You will have to repeat the process of trying to remove the pacifier or your breast several times and the question is, how often should a parent trying to remove the pacifier make this effort?  What are the time intervals?  Not every child is exactly alike with respect to breaking a dependency on the pacifier.  Typically though, it is suggested that you wait for about a minute before trying to break the cycle once again if your child fusses each time that you make the attempt.  The trick is to watch the sucking motion of your child.  At first it may seem quite vigorous but eventually, as he/she falls into a deeper sleep state, this will slow until the child is completely relaxed.  At this point you should try to remove the device again.

As mentioned earlier, this is not an instant success and you may find that you have to repeat the process upwards of five to even six times before you gain ground on your child.  This disruption in your routine for sleep and for the child as well in some situations will carry on for about three to four days but gradually you will begin to take notice that your efforts to remove the nipple or the pacifier takes less effort each time with fewer disruptions and the child will awaken less and less each time.

The Pantley’s concept looks a little like the outline listed below. It follows a child suckling on the breast but the same principle applies to the pacifier and the bottle alike:

  • The baby is alert and is breastfeeding with vigor,
  • The baby’s eyes slowly close and the rate of suckling decreases as well,
  • Gently begin to remove your nipple,
  • The baby begins to root toward the nipple again,
  • An attempt is made to close the child’s mouth with your finger but he/she begins to fuss,
  • Put the child back to the nipple once again,
  • Now, count one thousand one, one thousand two and so on until you reach ten thousand ten before making a second attempt to remove the nipple from the baby’s mouth,
  • The baby again begins to root for the nipple,
  • Delay attempts are made with no effect,
  • Return the child to your nipple again,
  • Repeat the rate of count and remove your nipple again,
  • The child fusses and roots for your nipple yet again,
  • The child starts to move about slightly but you are able to keep his/her mouth shut,
  • There is minimal resistance, if at all and he/she is nearly asleep,
  • Gently place the child into his/her crib,
  • And he/she drifts off to sleep.

You will have to go through the process several evenings and nights before the child subconsciously picks up on the notion that sleep can be obtained without the need for the breast or even the pacifier.  If you are blessed with a child that is good at napping, this technique can also be applied for getting her to sleep as well.

Should the opposite be true, that your child does not go down for naps especially easily, do not go through the difficulty of trying the removal method over the course of the waking hours at nap times.  You should recollect that it was said earlier how a good napping routine during the course of the day translates to a better night time rest for both the child and yourself.  In considering that your child may be somewhat reluctant or continuously fussy about being weaned from the breast, pacifier or her feeding bottle, trying to wean him/her from this during napping routines might cause a disruption in the sleeping routine at night.  Generally, it is thought that if you are successful at getting the child to stop his/her reliance on the bottle or the pacifier at night, the habit will flow through to the day time hours and the entire situation will stabilize through the day.

Again, this is not an overnight success method.  Some parents are able to have their children sleeping on their very own, independent of any pacifier or bottle at a quick pace whereas others are battling for three weeks or more. The average is for a period of ten days before the cycle of dependency on the devices as a sleep aid is broken at which time you will notice a gradual, if not dramatic decrease in the number of times that your child will wake up at night.


As it is most often found in a lot of parents everywhere, there are routines that we have developed and maintained since our baby was born.  As it so often follows, a child settles down into a sleep state almost immediately after having fed.  While there are some that follow this regimen, others require a little parental assistance to make some alterations in routine so that in the long term they can fall asleep without your assistance.

This is accomplished by a careful evaluation of the last few  steps that you conduct in the way you get your child to sleep and make the necessary alterations only if they are required.  Through the use of cuddling, back rubbing or the use of the key phrases and words suggested earlier, you will be able to get your child to return to the sleep state once more.  The idea here is that it forms an alternative to the heavy reliance that your baby has on the breastfeeding or pacifier as a means of getting to sleep.

For one parent who tried to break the dependency cycle, her child would begin to fuss about when she put her down following a feeding session even in spite of her characteristic fatigue indications.  Rather than go back to the chair with the child and continue to nurse, she utilized her key phrases to her child while standing at her crib side, gently repeating them until she fell into a sleep state and settled down for the night.  Do not underestimate the power of substitutes mentioned.


It is known that a child who is co sleeping with its parent, breastfeeding at the same time will stir and wake up more frequently than those children that sleep on their own in their own cribs down the hallway from the parent’s bedroom.  You may take the position that co sleeping is far more important than the want of being uninterrupted in your own sleep routine.  Eventually this situation will subside as well but there is a method by which the independence from pacifiers and the like can be obtain in an accelerated manner even as the child continues to sleep with you.

Prior to beginning this process though, go through your safety check before so as to eliminate all possibilities of potential hazards in your bed with your priceless little child.

What makes the task of weaning your child from dependence on the nipple in a co sleep state is that both mother and child are so uniquely bonded to each other that the slightest move by one or the other triggers a reaction.  This can keep both people awake or find it difficult to get back to sleep again.

The objective is to continue to let your baby co sleep with you without needing to have a sleep aid in an effort to sleep.  This objective can be met by the simple process of altering some of your routines.  It may get to the point that you will have to remove the child and place him/her into a crib down the hall way before the weaning process can be achieved.

Naturally you follow a specific routine to get your child back to sleep when he/she wakes up.  For many parents, breastfeeding the child until he/she was back to sleep was effective but that may continue unabated for ages.  Things need to change.

Rather than  respond to each and every cry that your child emits while sleeping in bed with you, learn to tell the difference between a cry for food versus a night time cry.  Listen carefully, make a quick observation to see  if the baby is awake and if no other cry comes forth, all is well.  Eventually you will train yourself to tell the difference and maintain your own sleep routine.

Responding to the sounds that your child makes does not always prove useful or helpful.  You have to break your habit of responding just as much as you have to break your baby’s habit of co dependency.  You may be keeping your child awake more than you need to.

Co sleeping with your baby does pose its challenges whereby both mother and child respond to each other.  It is all very subconscious though and you must remain focussed on the possibility that in a dream state your child will cry out from time to time and you will subconsciously interpret this to mean a call for food.  This is a natural, instinctive reaction but you have to be alert, conscious and attentive to every possibility that not every call you hear is a call for the nipple.

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Category: baby sleep
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